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Dad jokes

Started By KadinB , Sep 28 2021 4:30 PM

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160 replies to this topic

#1 Offline KadinB - Posted September 28 2021 - 4:30 PM

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Comment some dad jokes!


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#2 Offline ANTdrew - Posted September 28 2021 - 4:41 PM

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What are whale houses made of?

Narwhals
  • TennesseeAnts, Antkeeper01, KadinB and 6 others like this
"The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer." Prov. 30:25
Keep ordinary ants in extraordinary ways.

#3 Offline ANTdrew - Posted September 28 2021 - 4:42 PM

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What’s the largest species of ant?


The giant
  • TennesseeAnts, DDD101DDD, KadinB and 7 others like this
"The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer." Prov. 30:25
Keep ordinary ants in extraordinary ways.

#4 Offline strawnkayden1 - Posted September 28 2021 - 4:51 PM

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Don't encourage him. He already sends me one every day he remembers to.  :facepalm:


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#5 Offline KadinB - Posted September 28 2021 - 4:52 PM

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Don't encourage him. He already sends me one every day he remembers to.  :facepalm:

"I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y."


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#6 Offline strawnkayden1 - Posted September 28 2021 - 4:53 PM

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Don't encourage him. He already sends me one every day he remembers to. :facepalm:

"I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y."
STOP!!! Its not funny and your not a dad.
  • KadinB and eea like this

#7 Offline PetsNotPests - Posted September 28 2021 - 4:53 PM

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What do you call an old ant?

 

Antique.  :facepalm:

 

 

This thread's gonna kill me. 


  • TennesseeAnts, ANTdrew, DDD101DDD and 5 others like this

Ants are Pets, not Pests. 

 

-Camponotus sansabeanus

-Camponotus US-CA02

-Camponotus vicinus

-Formica podzolica

-Monomorium spp.

-Pogonomyrmex californicus

-Solenopsis spp. 

 

#8 Offline KadinB - Posted September 28 2021 - 4:54 PM

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What do you call an old ant?

 

Antique.  :facepalm:

 

 

This thread's gonna kill me. 

haha same! These already got me dead.


  • Chickalo and eea like this

#9 Offline strawnkayden1 - Posted September 28 2021 - 4:56 PM

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WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Why must u encourage him.
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#10 Offline ANTdrew - Posted September 28 2021 - 4:56 PM

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What’s the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?

Outlaws are wanted!
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"The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer." Prov. 30:25
Keep ordinary ants in extraordinary ways.

#11 Offline PetsNotPests - Posted September 28 2021 - 5:50 PM

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Sorry in advance-

 

 

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

 

The "P" (Pee) is silent. 

 

 

Told you. 


Edited by PetsNotPests, September 28 2021 - 5:53 PM.

  • TennesseeAnts, TestSubjectOne, Antkeeper01 and 4 others like this

Ants are Pets, not Pests. 

 

-Camponotus sansabeanus

-Camponotus US-CA02

-Camponotus vicinus

-Formica podzolica

-Monomorium spp.

-Pogonomyrmex californicus

-Solenopsis spp. 

 

#12 Offline NickAnter - Posted September 28 2021 - 6:02 PM

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what's so great about Switzerland?

 

I don't know, but I've heard the flag is a great plus!

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If two vegans are fighting, is it still a beef?

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How does a mermaid wash it's tail?

It uses Tide.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was interrogated over the theft of a cheese toasty.

Man they really grilled me.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do you know what the loudest pet you can get is?

A trumpet.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

I just can't put it down.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did you hear about the man who lost the left side of his body?

The doctor said he was all right, but the nurse said there wasn't much left.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why did the clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?

Because it was a little horse.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why does Humpty Dumpty love Autumn?

Because he had a great fall.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Well, that's all folks. Enjoy!


  • TennesseeAnts, ANTdrew, DDD101DDD and 7 others like this

Hi there! I went on a 6 month or so hiatus, in part due, and in part cause of the death of my colonies. 

However, I went back to the Sierras, and restarted my collection, which is now as follows:

Aphaenogaster uinta, Camponotus vicinus, Camponotus modoc, Formica cf. aserva, Formica cf. micropthalma, Formica cf. manni, Formica subpolita, Formica cf. subaenescens, Lasius americanus, Manica invidia, Pogonomyrmex salinus, Pogonomyrmex sp. 1, Solenopsis validiuscula, & Solenopsis sp. 3 (new Sierra variant). 

#13 Offline PetsNotPests - Posted September 28 2021 - 6:05 PM

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what's so great about Switzerland?

 

I don't know, but I've heard the flag is a great plus!

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If two vegans are fighting, is it still a beef?

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How does a mermaid wash it's tail?

It uses Tide.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was interrogated over the theft of a cheese toasty.

Man they really grilled me.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do you know what the loudest pet you can get is?

A trumpet.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

I just can't put it down.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did you hear about the man who lost the left side of his body?

The doctor said he was all right, but the nurse said there wasn't much left.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why did the clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?

Because it was a little horse.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why does Humpty Dumpty love Autumn?

Because he had a great fall.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Well, that's all folks. Enjoy!

:facepalm: :dash:   :suicide:


  • KadinB, Chickalo, eea and 1 other like this

Ants are Pets, not Pests. 

 

-Camponotus sansabeanus

-Camponotus US-CA02

-Camponotus vicinus

-Formica podzolica

-Monomorium spp.

-Pogonomyrmex californicus

-Solenopsis spp. 

 

#14 Offline strawnkayden1 - Posted September 28 2021 - 6:13 PM

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what's so great about Switzerland?

I don't know, but I've heard the flag is a great plus!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If two vegans are fighting, is it still a beef?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How does a mermaid wash it's tail?
It uses Tide.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was interrogated over the theft of a cheese toasty.
Man they really grilled me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you know what the loudest pet you can get is?
A trumpet.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
I just can't put it down.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the man who lost the left side of his body?
The doctor said he was all right, but the nurse said there wasn't much left.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did the clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because it was a little horse.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why does Humpty Dumpty love Autumn?
Because he had a great fall.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, that's all folks. Enjoy!

:facepalm: :dash: :suicide:
:jumps:
  • KadinB, Chickalo, antsriondel and 1 other like this

#15 Offline M_Ants - Posted September 28 2021 - 6:30 PM

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What continent do ants like best?

antarctica


  • NickAnter, KadinB, Chickalo and 1 other like this

Veromessor pergandei

Veromessor andrei

Crematogaster sp. 

Pogonomyrmex cf cali and rugosus

Various Pheidole

C. yogi 

https://www.youtube....FG7utFVBA/about

#16 Offline PetsNotPests - Posted September 28 2021 - 6:49 PM

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What continent do ants like best?

antarctica

 

Define dad joke: An unoriginal or unfunny joke.

Define this joke:  :suicide:

 

This is next level  :lol:


  • KadinB, Chickalo and Dumpling like this

Ants are Pets, not Pests. 

 

-Camponotus sansabeanus

-Camponotus US-CA02

-Camponotus vicinus

-Formica podzolica

-Monomorium spp.

-Pogonomyrmex californicus

-Solenopsis spp. 

 

#17 Offline M_Ants - Posted September 28 2021 - 6:53 PM

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What continent do ants like best?

antarctica

 

Define dad joke: An unoriginal or unfunny joke.

Define this joke:  :suicide:

 

This is next level  :lol:

 

Dad jokes are my specialty. Don't think you ant-ticipated this quality though.  

Sorry that's even worse of a joke lol


Edited by M_Ants, September 28 2021 - 6:55 PM.

  • KadinB, Chickalo, PetsNotPests and 1 other like this

Veromessor pergandei

Veromessor andrei

Crematogaster sp. 

Pogonomyrmex cf cali and rugosus

Various Pheidole

C. yogi 

https://www.youtube....FG7utFVBA/about

#18 Offline PetsNotPests - Posted September 28 2021 - 6:58 PM

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What continent do ants like best?

antarctica

 

Define dad joke: An unoriginal or unfunny joke.

Define this joke:  :suicide:

 

This is next level  :lol:

 

Dad jokes are my specialty. Don't think you ant-ticipated this quality though.  

Sorry that's even worse of a joke lol

 

I now have depression.  :lol:


  • KadinB likes this

Ants are Pets, not Pests. 

 

-Camponotus sansabeanus

-Camponotus US-CA02

-Camponotus vicinus

-Formica podzolica

-Monomorium spp.

-Pogonomyrmex californicus

-Solenopsis spp. 

 

#19 Offline NancyZamora4991 - Posted September 28 2021 - 7:44 PM

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I freak out whenever my dad says this to me

 

Me: "I'm tired"

My Dad: "hi tired, I'm Isaac"

 

he also does tons and tons more but I don't want to kill anyone else :D


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#20 Offline NickAnter - Posted September 28 2021 - 7:47 PM

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Confucius say he who run in front of car get tired, and he who run behind car get exhausted.


  • DDD101DDD, TestSubjectOne, DIACAMMAWORLDCOOL and 8 others like this

Hi there! I went on a 6 month or so hiatus, in part due, and in part cause of the death of my colonies. 

However, I went back to the Sierras, and restarted my collection, which is now as follows:

Aphaenogaster uinta, Camponotus vicinus, Camponotus modoc, Formica cf. aserva, Formica cf. micropthalma, Formica cf. manni, Formica subpolita, Formica cf. subaenescens, Lasius americanus, Manica invidia, Pogonomyrmex salinus, Pogonomyrmex sp. 1, Solenopsis validiuscula, & Solenopsis sp. 3 (new Sierra variant). 

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