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Dad jokes

Started By KadinB , Sep 28 2021 4:30 PM

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160 replies to this topic

#101 Offline Idontexist - Posted June 19 2022 - 7:37 AM

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I am sorry young ones, but the deed has to be done...

What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milk shake

What do you call a karate pig?
Porkchop

How many tickles does it take to make a octopus laugh?
Ten tickles

What kinda of car does pasta drive?
A spugatti

How do you fix a pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch

What does a cat say whenever it messes up?
You've got to be kitten me

Why do you always knock on a fridge before opening it?
Incase there's a salad dressing

What do you call an elephant that doesn't exist?
An irrelphant

Random questions that'll keep you up at night:

Does Mike Wazowski blink or wink?

If you wait for your waiter to get you you're food, doesn't that make you a waiter?

If you try to fail but you succeed, which one did you do?

If I punch myself and it hurts, am I strong or weak?

If I drop soap on the floor is soap dirty or is the floor clean?

Is cearal a soup?

If we clean a vacuum cleaner, doesn't that make us a vacuum cleaner?

If ponoki says that his nose will grow will it grow or stay the same?



I spent way too much time on this, lol(this is also the 100th post)

who's ponoki
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#102 Offline That_one_ant_guy - Posted June 19 2022 - 8:22 AM

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Sorry meant ponokio

Edited by That_one_ant_guy, June 19 2022 - 8:22 AM.

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#103 Offline Idontexist - Posted June 19 2022 - 8:50 AM

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Sorry meant ponokio

poinkio
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#104 Offline ANTdrew - Posted June 19 2022 - 9:19 AM

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Pinocchio
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"The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer." Prov. 30:25
Keep ordinary ants in extraordinary ways.

#105 Offline Idontexist - Posted June 19 2022 - 9:52 AM

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Pincho

Pinocchio

ponchokio

Pinocchio

ponchokio
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#106 Offline Antkeeper01 - Posted June 19 2022 - 11:26 AM

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Pincho

Pinocchio

ponchokio

Pinocchio

ponchokio
just a question but just why? Why did you need to do this
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1X Pogonomyrmex occidentalis 40-50 Workers

1X Solenopsis molesta 10 Workers (mono)

Ants I Want: Crematogaster sp, Camponotus Sp., Ponera Pennsylvanica, Mymercocystus sp.

 

My Youtube channel: https://www.youtube....kUjx-dPFMyVqOLw

 

 Join Our Fledgling Discord Server https://discord.com/...089056687423489

#107 Offline ZTYguy - Posted June 19 2022 - 11:29 AM

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You will only get a strange answer with little explanation so I suggest simply ignoring this behavior and rewarding the good.


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Currently: Considering moving to Australia
Reason: Myrmecia

#108 Offline bmb1bee - Posted June 24 2022 - 8:07 PM

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Director: In this show you’ll have to do the can-can.
Actress: But I can’t!
Director: Then do the can’t-can’t.

Edit: Dear god, that was cringe.

Edited by bmb1bee, June 24 2022 - 8:07 PM.

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"Float like a butterfly sting like a bee, his eyes can't hit what the eyes can't see."
- Muhammad Ali

Check out my shop and parasitic Lasius journal! Discord user is bmb1bee if you'd like to chat.

Also check out my YouTube channel: @bmb1bee

#109 Offline NickAnter - Posted June 24 2022 - 8:54 PM

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What did the prosecutor charge NaCl and the energizer bunny with?

Assault and battery.


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Hi there! I went on a 6 month or so hiatus, in part due, and in part cause of the death of my colonies. 

However, I went back to the Sierras, and restarted my collection, which is now as follows:

Aphaenogaster uinta, Camponotus vicinus, Camponotus modoc, Formica cf. aserva, Formica cf. micropthalma, Formica cf. manni, Formica subpolita, Formica cf. subaenescens, Lasius americanus, Manica invidia, Pogonomyrmex salinus, Pogonomyrmex sp. 1, Solenopsis validiuscula, & Solenopsis sp. 3 (new Sierra variant). 

#110 Offline dspdrew - Posted June 24 2022 - 10:19 PM

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Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off?

 

He's all right now.


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My Ant Colonies | My Projects | Ants for Sale | Ant Keeping Products | Southern California Ant Map

#111 Offline NickAnter - Posted June 25 2022 - 8:54 AM

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Variant of that one:

A man lost the left side of his body.

The nurse said that he'd be all right, but the doctor said there was nothing left.


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Hi there! I went on a 6 month or so hiatus, in part due, and in part cause of the death of my colonies. 

However, I went back to the Sierras, and restarted my collection, which is now as follows:

Aphaenogaster uinta, Camponotus vicinus, Camponotus modoc, Formica cf. aserva, Formica cf. micropthalma, Formica cf. manni, Formica subpolita, Formica cf. subaenescens, Lasius americanus, Manica invidia, Pogonomyrmex salinus, Pogonomyrmex sp. 1, Solenopsis validiuscula, & Solenopsis sp. 3 (new Sierra variant). 

#112 Offline ANTdrew - Posted June 25 2022 - 9:06 AM

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What kind of doctor is Dr Pepper?

A fizzician
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"The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer." Prov. 30:25
Keep ordinary ants in extraordinary ways.

#113 Offline T.C. - Posted June 25 2022 - 5:25 PM

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Do trees poop?

Well of course they do, how do we get number 2 pencils
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sml_gallery_8437_2366_20715.png

 

  High Quality and Affordable Ant Keeping Gear

 

#114 Offline Chickalo - Posted June 26 2022 - 5:43 PM

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This is a terrible joke because I just made it up:

What does an antkeeper say when they're leafcutter queen is finally laying eggs?

ATTA girl!

What am I doing with my life...well, time to smash my computer
(I'm probably going to edit this post to "." at some point, this can not be left alive)

Ima go ahead an ruin it for everyone, what if it was a acromyrmex queen? Or the other species that cut leaves? Like trachymyrmex?
Also: their

It appears you forgot to add proper punctuation used in the English language to signify the end of a sentence.
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シグナチャーです。예.

 

#115 Offline Chickalo - Posted June 26 2022 - 5:45 PM

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The potential in great fatherhood these people have is incredible(.)
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シグナチャーです。예.

 

#116 Offline T.C. - Posted June 26 2022 - 11:02 PM

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The potential in great fatherhood these people have is incredible(.)

 

I do have two dogs at home, not sure if that counts. 


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sml_gallery_8437_2366_20715.png

 

  High Quality and Affordable Ant Keeping Gear

 

#117 Offline PaigeX - Posted June 27 2022 - 8:25 AM

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Anyone can be a father.
But it takes a real man to be a Dad.


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Favourite Genus: Polyrhachis 

 
Journal: Main

Instagram: australian_polyrhachis

 

May God Bless you.

#118 Offline SYUTEO - Posted June 28 2022 - 7:17 AM

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Why is Poland clean?

 

Because they're Polish.

 

I'm bad at jokes.


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Began antkeeping in 2018  :)

 

All ant journal: https://www.formicul...os-ant-journal/

#119 Offline SYUTEO - Posted June 29 2022 - 3:39 AM

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Another bad one:

 

Why does Mercury spin so fast?

 

Because it's quicksilver

 

Why don't soldier ants follow orders?

 

Because they're all majors.


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Began antkeeping in 2018  :)

 

All ant journal: https://www.formicul...os-ant-journal/

#120 Offline Idontexist - Posted July 1 2022 - 5:40 PM

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What happens to ants after being exposed to radiation?


They become mut-ants
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